SOLOS
CANON
ALTERNATIVE UNIVERSE
Medieval: The Scribe
Horror: The Hollow's Sorrow
SPECIAL
i'll be waiting...
═══ ✾ ═══
some stories are not filled with great adventures from the beggining. There are a few that start with smaller things: a dream, a promise.
Her childhood was a subject Lisa never actually enjoyed to speak about. She wasn't miserable or had to go through hunger or poverty. Her parents weren't the wealthiest man in Rukongai, but being established in the fourth District as they were, gave the Yadomaru family a good economic position among the Souls.
Being raised as the younger and only daughter of six was something who forced her to forge her character. Her older brothers would live for teasing her, between fights in the mud, and frogs inside her bed, Lisa only had to deal with a single problem. Them. Because they still loved her enough to not let anyone mess with her.
However, her father expectations were something different entirely. For her, she wished to be a lady like her mother was: a doll, proper and graceful. But her mother was different from her. And when her three oldest brothers started the Academy, and eventually became Shinigami, a new perspective appeared.
Every time they came back, they told her stories about Hollows, and Quincies, and fights, and the great Genryuusai Yamamoto using the most powerful Fire Zanpakuto, and the Kenpachi, the strongest fighter in the Seireitei. She wanted to see that, to explore the world and not just remain as a Soul in her district.
When their brothers died, they were heartbroken, and her father would never allow her or her two brothers to become Shinigami. It didn't matter the potential or the will to honor their brothers' names.
Soon, they sent Lisa to learn about dancing, and her games in the dirt, and her trips to the river, slowly disappeared, and her relationship with her family began to become distant, cold. She had to meet their expectations, and nothing else. And "Lisa-chan" the little girl who loved hearing about their brother's stories about warriors, disappeared with them.
Until one day, her mother came to talk to her, and just by seeing her walk, Lisa knew she was never going to be like her. She was a doll, skin soft as the silk she always wore. She sat next to her daughter, with a smile warm as the sun rays.
"You know..." she began," dancing is like fighting, only that you don't use a sword."
A different perspective, that was. Years later, Lisa would understand that what her mother was trying to say was that being feminine didn't nullify being brave, and strong. And with that, a little had to work.
For years, every day after her dancing class, she remained awake and practiced the same steps with a stick. One day, her brothers caught her, and instead of telling their father, they appeared later with their brothers' old bokken, and together, they practiced. It was closer to a children's game rather than actual fighting, but they learned. Together.
One day, that might seem as normal as the rest, she rushed to her dancing class, quick messy steps led her to the center of District, sneaking into those who came by, entering and leaving the different stores, those who carried baskets were the most difficult to evade, but she was little and skinny. It was just like another game. She just had to imagine she was being chased by a monster, and her excited mind would do the rest.
The adrenaline dropped abruptly when the world started to spin around and her body felt heavier. She could feel there was something off around her, something she never felt before. Soon, her knees would meet the ground in a deaf sound. She leaned her hands on the dirt to support her weight, the glasses falling from her face as her chest went up and down according to her panting. Too focused on what her little body was telling her she was, that her ears didn't catch the steps that came close to her. It was until a shadow protected her from the sunlight that she realized about someone who noticed her.
"Are you ok, little miss?" A young man's voice asked.
Words intended to come out from Lisa's throat and left as nothing more than a sigh. Her blurry gaze couldn't leave the floor. Her senses were overwhelmed at the sole presence of this stranger, and she could barely think that he was responsible.
Suddenly, strong hands pressed upon her shoulders and brought her back to sit on her knees, and to her senses.
"Here."
She could feel the young man kneeled behind her, a hand still holding her by her shoulder as the other one appeared in her visual field, showing her what it seemed to be two pale spheres covered by a dark "ribbon".
"Eat," he ordered, firm but gentle.
"Huh...?"
To eat? Sure she ate before, but it was just for the taste not because a soul like her actually needed it. However, Lisa obeyed and held the sphere between her hands, the soft texture melting and disintegrating with the warmth of her skin. Her hands lifted the treat to her lips to allow her to take a bite of it. A familiar flavor danced across her tongue. It was rice, she'd tasted it before, although now it was different. The cramps went into her mouth and her senses started to clear.
The pressure on her shoulder loosened as the young man walked in front of her. She could visualize then, he was wearing black robes. He was a Shinigami. Once again he dropped into a knee to face the little girl, his strong hand once again firmly on her shoulder.
"You are pretty cool, little miss," he stated, words coming out like honey from his mouth," you can sense reiatsu, maybe you will become a Shinigami one day."
"Eh?"
She couldn't react. A shinigami? Her? That couldn't be possible.
"Is that true?" she asked, holding her glasses tightly on her hand, the other one still with the onigiri, her turquoise gaze looking up at the stranger, " Can I become a Shinigami?"
"Well, of course, you can! If you want to protect Soul Society, of course."
Still, the young girl wasn't convinced, and the Shinigami in front of her may notice that.
"What's your name, young miss?"
"Lisa..."
"Well, Lisa-chan, I gave you my Captain's lunch," he stated with a heartful laugh, as he lifted her glasses from the ground" I'm expecting you to pay me back for it, and you can only enter Seireitei if you are a Shinigami."
"But--"
"No buts," he patted her head softly, holding her spectacles by the red frame," Do we have a deal?"
Lisa just thought he was just trying to be nice to a poor little girl he accidentally crushed because of her newly discovered reiatsu-perception. The truth was, he always had a keen eye for people. And that little, almost innocent push was something she needed.
"Fine..." She answered, taking the glasses.
"Excellent, now if you excuse me..." he leaned to her ear," I was actually hiding from my captain."
Before she could even react, the young Shinigami disappeared in a swift flash step, leaving her on the ground and utterly confused.
The rest of the day went by as nothing. And so the next couple of years. When Lisa turned into a teenager, she made the decision to attend the Academy. Her father reaction, as she thought, wasn't a pleasant one.
"If you fail, you won't be able to return to this house," he said.
Thus she never did. Lisa was hoping that one day, her father would realize of his mistake. He was a heartbroken man who lost three kids and was about to lose a fourth. She never blamed him for that. But for the fact that she never allowed her mother and brothers to see her again? That was another matter entirely.
That was the last time she saw her family. And her first lesson about how pride can blind your sense of judgment and force people to hurt their loved ones. However, she had her own pride as well.
A city to protect.
Names to honor.
And a promise to fulfill.
❝ I Fear You❞
Did you know that fear is a powerful feeling? When your life is taken away from you, and your mind is ripped apart in so many pieces you are not able to rebuilt it, it is that little feeling the only one that can give you safety.
You are alone. You are broken. You are afraid.
The Pendulum hung ever so still, not moving forward or backward, it kept you stuck in that precise moment that changed your life forever and caged you within your own emotions.
For a century, you froze, as everything around you lived and died; rose and fell. The cold steel immobile against your skin.
They looked like a cavalry; you felt like a prisoner. Chained to your own demons:
Being a Misfit.
Failure.
Him.
And still, you appeared in front of him, with the Pendulum on your back, still; unchanged. And when he looked at you, the century that set you apart disappeared as it never existed.
- You're fine, I'm glad -
A click in your head showed you what you were looking for during all these years. You knew how to move the Pendulum.To turn fear into something you believed forgotten.
- Idiot.-
You only needed... A Movement. A Trace. A Change. You were home again.
❝I Love You❞
──•◦ ɪᴋɪɢᴀɪ ◦•──
"I want you to become Captain."
The days went by since she had been summoned by the new Captain Commander, with an offer that was more than tempting for any Shinigami. One that remained lingering in her. At first, as a mere whisper in the back of her mind.
Lisa wasn't one to come back to Soul Society anymore. Not even if Shunsui needed her there. Her loyalty was still with him, and the former Lieutenant could swear she would rip her heart apart if he asked for it.
However, her place wasn't there anymore. Seireitei wasn't her home, and she wasn't a Shinigami, even though everyone wanted to treat her like that.
And suddenly, that nightmare she'd been avoiding to remember. Rose and Kensei, and the night in the Twelfth Squad.
After their defeats in their respective battles during the Quincy War, leading to their deaths and later resurrection, the mischievous captain managed to revive them and gathered their fellow Vizards to explain how their lives were going to be from now on. A painful life: half of the time they had was taking away from them. Or that was what captain Kurotsuchi explained to them, with a wicked expression on his painted face that didn't say anything at all. If he was laughing or simply acknowledging the matter as a scientific nuisance, was a complete mystery for her. Half a life was better than no life, after all. Or so they said.
Once again, Shunsui's voice in her head. So loud this time it was messing with her senses. Beneath the walls of her room in the Warehouse, she was left alone only with his voice.
That damn bastard.
That's when she realized it was an unavoidable decision. After all, Lisa was a soldier who swore to serve her Captain to the last consequences.
And thus she did, until the day of her exile, and even long after that.
But her other sworn remained unfulfilled: to protect the Vizards with her life for everything they'd been through. Now, the time to atone for her sin was cut in half. She should better hurry.
Lisa Yadōmaru entered the First Squad's headquarters as they announced her name. The Captain robe with the Eight labeled on her back moving with her walking. Her gaze remained locked on the place she had to take, between the Sixth and Tenth's squad Captains. In front of her, there were them: solemn, stoic, and most of all, confused.
Lisa was never one for laughing, and this was probably the worst time to do so. However, she had to make an effort to avoid a chuckle escaping from the back of her throat. Indeed, Rose, Shinji, and Kensei didn't know she would appear that day as their new fellow Captain.
They should've known. Her home was where her loyalty lied. And she would do anything for them.
~FIN~
A legend existed among the kingdom, about a woman who used to serve the Royal family and his Court a century ago, as their Scribe. Stern, but kind, young yet bold, she would do anything to preserve knowledge. One day, a monster manifested and ate her soul to live inside her, forcing her to kill the villagers and drink their blood. It wasn't clear if she was a prey of her own curiosity, or the demons were looking for her to condemn her.
To avoid her own instincts and the death penalty, she escaped and roamed around the world, looking for a place to belong. In her travels, a vast of information appeared in front of her. History. Biology. Magic. Every new place had something new to teach her.It was a new opportunity for her to find a new destiny. And so, every new thing she learned, she wrote it down.
Decades passed, and the terrible fate of this woman became nothing more than a tale to scare the children.The texts about her life were either destroyed or well hidden by her in deepest parts of the Library.
Now, a new rumor spread among the merchants. In the deepest part of the forest, a lost hunter had found a wicked place, protected by charms: Her book collection was a temptation for any wizard, king or alchemist; her relics were a secret no one knew about. In the shelter, there was a woman with dark hair and features as cold as winter itself. The hunter didn't know her name.
Still for the realm to not forget her, she introduced herself as the keeper of the darkest secrets of the world.
This is not only a story, but also an invitation. If you possess a curious mind, you are always welcome to my domains.
Sincerely,
❝The Scribe❞
『ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏʟʟᴏᴡ's ʟᴜʟʟᴀʙʏ ◈ ɪɴɴᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ』
Trigger Warning: Psychological torture, major character's death.
It began a hundred years ago.
The mission was easy, the Shinigami were strong.
But the enemy was clever. One of a kind.
He created the Hollow.
And the Hollow found a new Home.
"HAGURO TONBO~!"
The beautiful voice echoed beneath the corridors, looking for the spirit who laid in a corner of the maze. There was no will to fight in him. And there was no way to escape. His home became his prison, and every day seemed longer than the previous one.
"Please..." The one who once was a proud zanpakuto begged, head bowed down, body shaking," Let it end..."
The Hollow knelt in front of him, a hand reaching his chin to lift his face up, in a torturous way to show him her face. Her face. She was Lisa.
No, she wasn't. She disappeared a long time ago, and this took her place. There was no difference between them, aside from the melted golden eyes with dark sclera instead of the beautiful turquoise orbs his true master had.
"End what?" The Hollow blinked, a serious, cold expression adorning her features, We have work to do..."
"You're not her..."
"Oh? But the other one is ugly now, come," she grabbed him by his clothes," I'll show her to you~"
"NO, PLEASE, DON'T!" The zanpakuto hold her wrist, chest going up and down, eyes widened at the memories of the past.
"But you want to be with her, isn't that what you used to say? Don't you want to be with her again...?"
Even in the sweetness of her words, Haguro Tonbo knew what that meant, because when he was still the Spirit he used to be, he demanded to die with her master.
And the Hollow accepted. For decades, he remained there, locked with his owner. A dead body pinned against the wall, hanging limp, unable to disappear unless the new ruler of the Inner World said so. And she took that title away from the Zanpakuto Spirit.
"No..." he answered, disgusted of himself for neglecting his true master, she who learned his true name and was his partner for centuries.
The woman smiled, the corner of her lips twisted in a wicked grin, her fingers slowly caressing Haguro Tonbo's face.
"Who am I?" she asked lovingly.
"My... My master. Lisa..."
He had to believe it. It was the only way to let the nightmare to stop, and not see the horrifying picture of the /old/ Lisa again. Every time he blinked, in every corner of the maze that was now his Inner World.
He could see her. Turquoise orbs staring at him in sorrow.
ᴘʟᴇᴀsᴇ... sᴏᴍᴇᴏɴᴇ...
❝ ⱧɆⱠ₱ ₥Ɇ ❞
『ᴛʜᴇ ʜᴏʟʟᴏᴡ's ʟᴜʟʟᴀʙʏ ◈ ᴏᴜᴛᴇʀ ᴡᴏʀʟᴅ』
Trigger Warning: violence, major character's death.
Yσu mαdє mє αddict tσ α drug
I wαѕ ѕuppσѕєd tσ єnjσч,
αnd nσw I cαn't ѕtσp
until I cσnѕumє it αll.
⁽ᵖˡᵉᵃˢᵉ ᵈᵒⁿ'ᵗ ᵈᵒ ᶦᵗ
Whєn lσvє вєcσmєѕ σвѕєѕѕiσn,
thєrє is nσ paѕѕιon, σnlч нυnger
The moonlight showering the darkness veil always brought her good memories. That pale brilliant sphere had been a witness of her perverse acts. Those she couldn't help to make and filled her body with pure lust and ecstasy.
The need for human souls had been uncontrollable on her. One the Shinigami lived, that instinct was completely suppressed. However, she was Lisa now. And the only glimpse of the woman who used to possess that body, was her zanpakuto spirit who laid motionless into the Spirit World, condemned to fall into insanity.
She had to keep him alive, though, as that Shinigami reiatsu masked her perfectly, made everyone think their beloved Lisa was still around. As for the rest, she kept her hunger under control. First, she atehose souls who were doomed to become Hollows: unfortunate beings chained and deprived for reaching Soul Society. Then, living souls came. Homeless, murderers, prostitutes. People she knew no one was going to miss. And the flesh mixed with the Reiryoku was ever so delicious, the monster could not process how did she survive all these years without that metallic taste on her mouth.
However, as the years passed, not even the blood dancing on her tongue could let her satisfied. She had a different task in mind. A mission, a reason for why she was created. The same for why she was created. Thus she patiently waited. And waited... Desperation for having another victim past her lips faded with the years. And as it was a perfect illusion, the reflection of the Hollow completely turned into Lisa Yadomaru.
Years passed by faster as the wars ended. And soon, the Hollow was again in the same place she was born. She brought the Shinigami back home. And either because he didn't realize, or he was denied to see through it, back to her Captain.
Poor man, the Hollow used to think. Bounded to loseeveryone he loved. Only a few of them were left, and he
Yet the Hollow couldn't deny she enjoyed his company. That could probably remain from the former owner of her Inner World. A nostalgic feeling overwhelmed her body any time she saw him. And that heart. That heart.Full of promises, filled with oaths. Bound to keep beating. For Soul Society. For Ise Nanao. For her.
And so, there she was, with only the moon as company. Her warm naked body pressed against his as her face, for the first time, expressed a cold glimpse of disappointed.Her fingers, stained in crimson, were firmly pressing her treasure.
"I knew it wouldn't keep beating for me..."
With sorrow in her voice, she would sit on the edge of the bed and gather the dark robes to cover the redden marks on her slender form.Thus she left the Captain Commander behind, slowly getting colder. Bounded to remain alone. Heartless as he always should.
Even when distractions appeared in the middle, her goal remained the same. As Soul Society was dreaming about their days of peace, her light steps broughther to her goal, somewhere not even the moonlight could be with her, watching in solemn silence all her little sins.
For an instant, the picture of the former Lisa came to her mind, as she would surely enjoy Aizen Sousuke's expression, still locked to his seat, staring at her with a sole eye widened upon the sight of the female with dark hair and red glasses that long ago he ripped her life apart. He didn't say anything, and there was no need for it. One hand kept the motionless heart inside her sleeve, the other one lifted crimson keys where his sight could catch them.
"Come on," she chirped, a wicked smile drawing on her lips as if someone forced it open," We still have a lot of work to do."
❝ Leт тнe deмonѕ υnleaѕн тнroυgн тнe world. ѕo нer нυnger woυld вe ѕaтιѕғιed once and ғor all. ❞
⊰ ᴘᴀɪɴ ᴀɴᴅ sᴏʀʀᴏᴡ... ᴀʀᴇ ɴᴇᴠᴇʀᴇɴᴅɪɴɢ. ⊱
『breath for me』
Trigger Warning: Nudity, Light Bondage, Foreplay.
"I have a funny idea for tonight."
They should've seen it coming. Every time Lisa said that, it actually meant something unexpected to pull their limits off was about to happen. And it wasn't only the act by itself, but the wholepreparation. They never knew what was going to happen until it was happening. It was part of the game. And she valued confidence more like anything else. How can they deny that to her?
Lisa had everything prepared already, and she would be already expecting her partner with some pretty lingerie. The color didn't matter, it could be black, red, or some unexpected one like light-green. She loved that one.
As the door opened, she could see the smile forming on their faces before instantly reached her spot and to place a soft kiss on her lips.
"So... What are we doing today?"
"That is a surprise," she replied, holding their hand to firmly guide them to the bedroom.
The room was always the same, the one where they shared many nights. All different, special on their own. Once the door was closed, Lisa turned to face her lover, turquoise orbs peeking over the crimson frame of their glasses as they shut the distance between them once more. Her velvet lips pressed against theirs with devotion, her hands making their way over the clothing to quickly dispose of them. As usual, they ended up discarded all over the floor like a minor nuisance.
She would guide them softly to a chair next to the bed and firmly pressed their shoulder to make them sit down.
"Close your eyes..." She whispered, before giving them one last kiss.
As they do so, Lisa walked around them. From the bed, she took a black tie she had prepared, and going on her knees, she reached both their wrists together behind the chair, locking them with a knot.
At this point, the female could feel her partner's nervousness, arms' muscles slightly tensed, and even their breath just a little erratic. It was only the beginning, though, they couldn't see it, but from over the blankets, she took another thing, a blindfold. Back on her feet, Lisa turned to face them once again, and her lips met their eyelids before locking her intense gaze on them. They couldn't see her, but still, she was sure the feeling was piercing through them.
"It's going to be ok" she muttered," Do you trust me?"
And they couldn't do anything but concede. They knew she would never hurt them. She never did. She never would.
"I trust you..."
And that was all she needed to hear. With a faint smile, the blindfold went directly to her lover's eyes, restraining one of their most valuable senses. Her smell of lavender probably reached their nostrils stronger than before, turning it from a barely noticeable feature, to a sweet toxine for their senses. She was an intoxicating woman after all.
For an instant, she backed away, bare feet barely touching the light to not make any sound. Only for mere seconds, until she reached their back once again, it was just a little movement. Her loved one shivered, naked, completely exposed and at her mercy. Their mind and body completely offered to her.
Soon, her hands reached the naked skin of their shoulders, and she could feel with delightful how the skin crawled under her touch. Her faced soon reached their side, teeth softly gritting on their earlobe before a lick caused another shiver.
"Breath..." She purred to their ear, sweet as honey itself, her hot breath contrasting the wet skin," You are with me, I'll take care of you."
A smile formed on her partner's features, their body slowly relaxing to her careful treatment. Lisa smiled to herself, her fingers tracing their way across their body.
❝if you trust me
i will make you see the stars❞
『fin 』
『until the sun rises』
Trigger Warning: Implicit Sexual Scenes.
Being exiled in the Human World was never as easy as they might make it look. Sometimes they bore with it and survived another day. Some other times, the desperation to feel as they were alive were so great, it was almost unbearable.
Lisa was probably the one that had the worst time. Even surrounded by people, loneliness overcame her senses every day. Every hour. All the rest seemed to have someone to make them keep fighting, and, of course, their demons to deal with. It wasn't fair for them to throw her own grief upon their shoulders.
Each night, she tried to fill the emptiness within her, and each night she failed. Her methods slowly going darker as time passed, Lisa didn't mind her insides feel dirty and her pride be wrecked, she was desperate to feel something. Anything.
However, when nothing seemed to work, she had a little secret, one she never told anyone. Her own lifesaver to keep her on her feet, still fighting. And one time a month, she found herself again in that cheap room, far from Karakura Town. That little shelter away from the pain and the nightmares, where words weren't needed.
Under soft covers, the silence of the room was only interrupted by the addictive love sounds. Flesh against flesh, moans pouring like honey as the addictive sensation grew to be more than just a shameful addiction.
For one night, Lisa forgot the sorrow and only gave space to hidden passions. Her back arched against the object of her desire, her toes curled to contain the last bit of ecstasy, and the only tears that poured from those melted turquoise eyes were just the product of her body overwhelmed in divine pleasure.
Moans, kisses, and caresses made the boundaries disappear, exposing only the primal desire. The world outside vanished, and every thought seemed infimal in comparison to the soft fingers that pressed on her body and the tongue that forced shivers from the skin, memorizing inch by inch the sensitive spots, and cleaning the torture she inflicted on herself.
And when the sun rose, the dream would be over, and she would look at the door, expecting this to be the last time she crossed it. There she left, sometimes when her lover was still asleep. Thus there she abandoned her shelter for another month, enjoying the rays of dawn kissing her skin, mere crumbs in comparison. Light always seemed brighter in the cheap motel room.
One day she would cross that door and never come back. She would find the strength to respond to those unwanted 'I love you' that were never answered, with a cold and blunt 'I don't need you any more' and finally cut that one last tie she had with her former self.
But that day still looked so far away, that Lisa wondered if she ever wanted it to come.
Yet, for another month, she might survive.
『ιғ yoυ love мe, мαy тнe end never coмe 』
Oh, how insignificant your problems seem to be when you're one step away from war.
How desperate to find yourself. To break your shell and fight, flesh exposed.
The truth may be unbearable. Yet it brings you closer to a real self.
❝ Who are you? ❞
When the night fell upon the Rukongai, it was the moment when life began to sparkle across its streets: every store was open, sellers screamed in melodious tones to sell their merchandise, merging with the chatter and the laughs to compose a rustic melody. It was that moment when Shinigami and Souls shared a moment together of fun and relaxation.
However, inside the Seireitei, the military city, silence flew and covered them all with a dark mantle. Not because their people went to sleep, as one could find some young soldiers still dressed in their black Shihakusho, roaming around the corridors in a state of alert, just like their duty told them to. It was because it was necessary, Seireitei never had to sleep, but had to secure the rest of its people.
Once the Sun disappeared from their sight, the only sounds allowed to interrupt the calm of the intricate corridors were the whispers of those who were patrolling and the flickering of the torches that serve as a company through the slow hours.
A false sense of calm that was soon interrupted by the swing of steel cutting the air. So swift that it would whistle with every movement. A young woman slid her feet, rising the dust from the training grounds to slay her imaginary enemy before they would slay her. No torches. No whispers. Only the sword and the moon as her only solace.
The precision of each movement was an antithesis of the mind of the wielder, whose palms left a wet crimson mark on the hilt, and the drops that were born on her forehead fell shamelessly to the ground beneath her feet. Her lung, on their side, exaggerated their normal functioning and went faster, making each exercise more difficult than the previous one.
Even when her body was begging to find some comfort, the young Shinigami couldn't stop. No matter the pain or frustration. Soon she would have to march to the frontline, and with no Shikai, death by a Quincy's hand was more than certain.
Three days and three nights the high commands gave them to prepare. On the fourth day, hundreds of Shinigami would fight on the bloodshed that would later be remembered as the Quincy Extermination.
If it was for the greatest causes or not, Lisa Yadomaru didn't know. Little was the amount of information their superiors gave to, what they enjoy to call, the small fries. Those she despised them from her very core. A funny outcome, actually. She used to think it was her best chance, thanks to her high ranking in Zanjutsu, to join the Eleventh Squad. An opportunity to protect, to honor the memory of those she loved and passed away defending what was right.
She was wrong.
Nothing good came since she left the Academy and joined the Royal Court Guards, and each day it was a test for her mental strength and physical resistance. Every moment she engraved it within her and moved to the next one, without thinking if there would be, in fact, a next one. Those issues, though a nightmare on her everyday life, were long forgotten with the upcoming massacre at their doorstep. Unlike every other Shinigami in her Squad, she preferred to train on her own. A self-defense mechanism she learned the bad way. She wasn't ready yet, and there was no way she would spend the last days of her life doing anything else aside from improving in order to survive that cursed war.
Asking for help outside her Squad wasn't an option either. Her best (and only) friends, Hacchi and Rose, those two Shinigami she'd met during her days as a student, were way too occupied with their own Squads. And even when they would agree right away to run to her aid, her pride wouldn't allow that. A trait that could kill her. Yet she had to do it alone.
Thus Lisa trained. And trained. Until the Rukongai itself felt silent. Until the only sound interrupting the calm of a fake peace was the slash her sword made to cut the thin air. Until the hilt slipped from her hand due to sweat, and blood and sore muscles. She continued.
That was the first night she saw it.
Once she couldn't hold her zanpakuto any longer, Lisa sheathed it back to its scabbard and abandoned the wrecked training grounds. Silent steps brought her back to the barracks. As she entered the dark room, filled with more than one sound coming from the dormant bodies of her Squadmates, Lisa was forced to jump across them like obstacles; not that she thought of them any different. If she woke them or not, the female didn't care. After all, those were the responsible bastards who made her life a living Hell.
Soon, all those thoughts would once again disappear as she dropped her body on the tatami in sheer exhaustion, the closest she could get to the window, as it was her secret pleasure to fell asleep with the moon as the last thing she saw while awake. She took off her glasses and hid them in her sleeve. Her eyelids shut down the instant her body relaxed over the rough surface, grateful for that ever so necessary rest.
Only a few moments passed when the melodic sounds of morning hit her ears. Lisa only could sigh in defiance, too stubborn to even open her eyes. A couple of seconds took her to fall into a realization, her body felt lighter than usual under a soft, damp mattress that emanated that distinctive fragrance, instantly filling her nostrils: it was grass.
Eyelashes fluttered to allow her eyes to open and focus at her surroundings; no walls, roof, or even clouds, were protecting her of the vibrant sun rays. Instead, Mountain chains rose above on the distance like solemn sturdy pillars. Her hands lifted to rub her eyelids, and check if this was some kind of hallucination due to exhaustion. Still, every sensation felt more than real. Finally, she sat and turned her head to look at her surroundings. Near her position, the run of water was easily distinguishable, and soon she found a source. Only a few meters away, a lake opened as a crystal mirror for the clear sky adorned by trees that appeared sporadically. Once again her pupils fixated forward, to the mountains far away, and the cliff that kept her separated from them.
Once she decided to stand up, her feet crawled towards the edge to take just a little peek of what laid beneath. There was nothing she could see but a sea of clouds, that looked ever so soft Lisa thought she could jump onto it and bounce back to the initial point. An idea she quickly discarded, as the mountains in the distance, that popped their peaks in the horizon, showed her there was probably a long way down.
Once again, she turned back and walked near the edge, in an attempt to explore the near area, and luckily figure out where was she. Only a few minutes later, she encountered a figure at the distance facing the horizon, in a still position of seiza, his hands over his lap; one hand over the other and thumbs touching with each other. He was dressed in dark blue robes and his head was shaved.
"A monk," Lisa though before giving one step closer.
A single thought crossed her mind amidst the many sensations the place gave to her. If that was her Inner World. He was... Her zanpakuto spirit.
"Oi."
The echo traveled and hit the mountains around. But there was no response from the meditating man. In fact, to her call, he didn't even move. At this point, Lisa was wondering if he was even breathing. A few more steps led her next to the presence, now she could see his eyes remained squinted, looking forward, way beyond her, solemn despite an obvious young age.
"Who are you?" she dared to speak again.
And once again, there was no reply. Her forehead wrinkled in a frown, unsure if he was so submerged in his meditation or just plainly ignoring her. Her legs flexed in a squat to close the distance between them and let her eyes be at the same height than his, a contrast of her blue iris against his dark ones.
Only one idea crossed Lisa's mind. It was probably one of the worst she ever had, still, when it comes to her, curiosity was usually greater than common sense. And so, she stretched her arm forward in order to touch his shoulder with the intention of giving him just a little shake to make him snap out. The tip of her fingers reached the fabric of his robes right before everything went dark again.
The lights coming through the window woke her up abruptly, finishing a meeting before it even started. This time, it wasn't the mattress of grass what was laying under her, but the rigid tatami of the Eleventh Squad's barracks.
A sigh escaped through her parted lips, once again she took her glasses from her sleeve and placed them back before she finally decided to get up and leave her tiredness behind, she could notice a couple of hours had passed, still, it felt like she went through her night wide awake, roaming around the sanctuary of that monk. Somewhere deep in her mind, the thought of wasting her only opportunity to get the true name of her Zanpakuto popped, a mischievous whisper that followed her outside the room.
Seireitei shone with lively Shinigami, training, and chatting; pretending they might happily live another day, and ignoring her, a trait she was more than glad for, her thoughts were somewhere else entirely. All her attention went to the man of the dark robes who lived inside that sanctuary. That place with no war, and no shinigami. A taste of what freedom may look alike for her. Only a brief moment before being locked away from it.
It concerned her every story about Shinigami and their Inner Worlds differed completely from her own experience. Her own story seemed to be told from the end to the beginning. Lisa thought about a test, a way to communicate beyond words, those she wasn't able to hear yet. The noises of the monster from outside had made her deaf to her own soul.
"What are you doing?"
A heavy hand planted upon his shoulder, prompting a sudden move of her hand. She wrapped her fingers around the hilt of her zanpakuto and pulled from it a couple of inches. The responsible lifted his hands in surrender before Lisa growled in annoyance.
"Why the fuck didn't you wake me up?"
"I prefer to stay alive until the war and not having my throat sliced."
The Third Seat, Hisao Morita, was probably the person Lisa hated the least alongside the Squad. She was usually under his command and has proved himself to be as wise as he was strong.
"I heard your training, why was I going to wake you up for? More training?" he asked with a sly smirk," did you get it?"
Even though she never told him about it, the damn old bastard could read anyone like an open book. It was a shame he wasn't the real Captain, yet knowing the Squad's tradition, it was safer for him to be of lower rank. And as for the real Captain, he wouldn't want an old man as Lieutenant, only the strongest young men. Morita had been the only reason she stood in the Squad, and the first person she thought of as a mentor. Even Hell had its messiah after all.
"Nah," she shrugged nonchalantly," I've seen it, the damn bastard didn't want to talk."
The older male frowned as his hands slid into his sleeves.
"Well, you're smart, you'll figure something out," he nodded to himself," and you're weird, perhaps you should try a different approach.
"... I don't have time for a different approach, Morita," Lisa glared at him, her disrespect unintentional yet clear," We have to go to war in two days."
To her concern, Hisao only could smile.
"When it's going to be a better time than this, then?" he asked," A different approach, Lisa. I don't want to see you run with your tail between your legs because of a couple of Quincy."
His last words were his cue to leave. Lisa's pupils contracted as the old man walking away from her, the thought of him walking inside the Seireitei for the last time ever so distant, Lisa couldn't even imagine it. On the other side, she didn't have that precious time to think about how she might approach the monk within her subconscious. It could be wrong, maybe it wasn't the embodiment of her zanpakuto, but of a fake hope. It would be a mistake to linger onto an empty fantasy as her last resource to survive. Lisa needed a Shikai, a name, and not pointless dreams and utopic sanctuaries.
That night, like the previous one, Lisa went through the same process: once it was announced the end of the day, she would sneak into the training grounds and focused her energy in her development, to reach her limits, and surpass them. Again. And again.
The reality though was much more different of what one might imagine. Even when her conscious brain was centered on her task, an obscure feeling grew within her heart.
"Ack-!"
The sound of metal fell deaf against the ground when her fingers crawled and trembled, broken blisters popping randomly across her palms and dry blood adorned the scars. Even when she tried to get on her knees and lift the sword, only attempting to open her hand was torture.
Thus there she remained, her knees digging into the dirt, defeated. She found a limit she couldn't surpass and it was still not enough. Her chest pumped up and down whilst she looked at her sword as it was the enemy she had to confront. Words got drowned within her throat, unable to pull a single sound but a faint whimper. Lisa had lost before the war even started. She never felt so defenseless, so She was... At loss.
Turquoise eyes exposed widely when a hand entered her field of vision, one that held his zanpakuto with firmness, yet delicacy like she used to. Slowly, her face lifted up to meet those dark blue robes, and the male who looked down solemn at her. He didn't seem judgmental, his black orbs were only staring as if he could see through her like thin paper.
In a swift, single moment, he twisted the zanpakuto and point the hilt towards her, his hand grabbing the blade, a thin trail of crimson began to roll down. He waited for her to take her, as patient as a teacher teaching a child. She obeyed.
In a single pull, Lisa was back onto her feet, alone, her blade as clean as it had always been. Still, she could taste that metallic flavor onto her tongue like a vivid cut. The zanpakuto returned ever so swiftly to the scabbard, the female couldn't ever feel it. Her hands felt numb enough to only sense a faint tingle on the tip of her fingers, thoughts flew back and forth so fast she couldn't even difference them, she didn't hold any to them. Instead, Lisa walked towards the barracks one more time as if reality and fantasy were inverted.
As if she was heading to bed... To wake up.
Once again, dark eyelashes fluttered and opened when the first lights caressed the smooth skin. Her tongue clicked in pain as a sting redirected her attention to her hands adorned in bandages. Lisa couldn't remember when she did that, although many things were a blank space in her memory, but one thing. Her will had reached the bottom. Every little concern and fear she locked down exploded and left her at bay with nothing she could hang on to. It brought something good, though. With no concerns and fears piling up and yelling back and forth, her mind was at peace.
Only a day left, and now unable to hold a grip of her sword and her possibilities began to scarce. The problem was the same, she just needed... A different approach.
That day she left the barracks behind alongside Seireitei itself and headed into the woods of Rukongai to find solace beneath the among the trees, those that could only find comfort in the swaying the wind provided to them. There she sat, amidst a clearing, an empty space that let the Sun give comfort to the little sanctuary. She inhaled deeply every fragrance around, her legs in seiza, her back straight, hands one over the other resting on her lap, and her thumbs touching. She slowly shut her eyelids down and gave her attention to nature around her.
"You are doing it wrong."
The male's voice forced her eyes to open. One hand approached her from behind to push her chin back
"Your back has to be straight, like the edge of the mountain it has to fall from your nape to your tailbone" he stated," your eyes mustn't close, they have to be focused on a 45º angle, and your thumbs barely pressed between each other."
Once his brief explanation was done, the male took his place next to her. Though she obeyed his advice and kept the posture as he ordered.
"You can talk," she whispered.
"You can hear," he replied with boldness," Meditation is a way to communicate with the inner self. A useful way to pay attention when you've been listening to voices louder than mine."
"No offense but your voice ain't even loud, to begin with."
An eyebrow rose, prompting a glare from the corner of his eye to what Lisa ignored, her eyes too focused at a random point, thoughts went pass her mind but she didn't hold them, so they kept flowing with the current.
"Still, you managed to hear me now," he continued," are you not troubled anymore?"
"Well, I'm scared as fuck and my hands hurt like Hell," she answered, dark eyelashes masking part of her light iris," But there is anything I can't do aside from what I always do. Keep fighting."
"Why are you fighting for?"
To his question, Lisa felt silent. It wasn't glory, nor honor. The answer, though stupid and altruistic, it was the most sensate she could think of.
"Peace," she answered," I don't want to kill Quincy. They have families, they have reasons to fight for. However... There are families here too, families who will die alongside the whole Soul Society if Hollows kept massively disappearing. The world ain't simple, I can't stop a war with words... But maybe, if we survive tomorrow, one day we can."
The world around them fell silent at the same time the Sun went down. Lisa was unaware of these details, of how everything kept moving while she was secure in her sanctuary, ever so real and tangible it seemed like reality within a dream. The man in the black robes turned his attention completely at her once she was done talking.
"Do you know what the folklore thinks about dragonflies?" he asked," they are the symbol of endurance. Since they were born, they're chased by bigger predators, so they have to handle one hit after another until they finally reach adulthood. Once they become dragonflies, every hit became a lesson they survived.
"Either if we move towards glory or death, we keep going forward, and we survive. Not as mindless soldiers but warriors who fight for what is the right thing to do. War is never right, and those who fight them are not our enemies, the leaders are. If you can't make them enter in reason, then you smash them until they can't stand up anymore."
His words seemed to hit her mercilessly. There was peace inside them, yes, but masked with a future filled with violence. Far from utopic, he was marking a long and painful path ahead for her.
"All that talk about war and death..." she muttered, an ironic chuckle escaping her parted lips," And I thought you were a monk."
He replied with the same faint laugh before he stood up, as calm as solemn as the day she met him. Yet this time, his demeanor made her heart clench upon the rise of his reiatsu. /Her/ reiatsu. It filled her nostrils, ears, mouth, eyes, and invade every corner of her organism.
His hand wrapped around the air and pulled down, causing a wave of energy enough to pull her to a side, forcing a hand to press against the grass to keep balance. What collided against the ground was the edge of a dark green pole that rose far above his head and finished on a monk's spade.
"I'm not," he replied," I am just someone who desires to become a dragonfly, I've never been able to bend the way they wanted me to... I am made of iron."
My name
is...
...
...
...
As long as we keep fighting, there can't possibly be an ending.
...
...
...
Could you ever find clearance within the darkness? Did you have enough will to stand on a battlefield, amidst the screams and the butchering in order to do what was right? Was, perhaps, a right answer? Or was the enemy's answer the one closest to the truth?
Lisa couldn't know... Once the battle unleashed, that lines that kept her away from them became blurrier and blurrier. With no purpose to fight for, a warrior became prey. But she... She was a survivor. And the high commands, like gods, forced them to move their blades down.
Today she would let her hand be moved by them, words were beyond reach to handle her own life. She let herself be a puppet, and as her sword unsheathed from the scabbard, Lisa hoped that tomorrow she would become a dragonfly. To protect this world that was rotten and far from being saved.
"Smash,
Haguro Tonbo."
Your armor isn't a burden, it's a gift.
Use it to reach the blind infinite.
You don't need your eyes, only your feet.
So raise again and walk forward.
But this time...
Keep your head up.❞
wan•der•er (won′dər ər), a person who travels aimlessly; a traveler.
